Dear Near
by COMPLETARE
Summary: "You have a mail" A mail? Near never had mail. Only two people who could have mailed him were dead. If Roger wanted to contact him, he would've just called. Then from whom was it?


i do not own death note or any of the characters.

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"_You have a mail" _

_A mail? Near never had mail. Only two people who could have mailed him were dead. If Roger wanted to contact him, he would've just called. _

_Then from whom was it? _

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_I'll be waiting for you_

The words echoed in his head. Mello's rough voice sounded clear in his head, like the sentence would had expressed only few seconds ago. He wondered…

"Are you sure you're alright?" concerned voice spoke next to him.

Near didn't lift his gaze from the puzzle he'd been working. He had been recalling himself to talk to his associates, act normally (at least normally for him), to make sure they didn't worry for him so much. Yet there he was again –lost in his mind, gathering the puzzle pieces together as he tried to do same with his thoughts.

"I am, Halle. Really" the pale boy answered with his usual monotone voice.

The woman seemed to hesitate a moment, but finally after few moments she nodded.

" Just…just wanted to check. Tell us if you want anything…"

"Of course."

Near heard Halle leaving the room, and he exhaled quietly. For three days they had tried to make Near open up. Three days they had tried to make him show even a slight reaction. They didn't understand. Why wasn't he happy? Why wasn't he sad? Or angry? Didn't he _feel?_

Yes, three days had passed. Three days from his big victory. And his biggest loss.

_Mello_

Again, the name passed through the security walls Near had made inside his mind. He was not one to speak of his feelings, let alone even _feel _them. He didn't cry when L died. He wouldn't cry for Mello either.

Feelings were useless and unnecessary. Mello was the one who felt. Near didn't. He was like a computer, full of intelligence and logic, without disturbing emotions. But Mello had it in him. He was impulsive, led by his sentiments.

And that's the reason he was dead.

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* * *

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After two weeks they stopped. It seemed that they got tired of waiting and accepted the fact that Near just wasn't going to give them any reaction.

Near was quite pleased. He appreciated their concern, but it was rather annoying to convince his steady mental state in every other minute.

He had new things in his mind, now that he finally earned his place as L's successor.

So the boy kept on going, getting new case, assisting the police

and continued ignoring the growing emptiness inside him.

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* * *

One day Near found himself thinking about Mello again. No matter how hard he tried to shut it out of his mind, he just couldn't stop thinking.

_I'll be waiting for you_, he had said.

Vey last words Near ever heard left from his mouth. Now the words sounded so apt, that he couldn't help but think they were deliberated, that Mello had chosen those five words to be his farewell for Near.

_Why would he do that? He didn't know he was going to die. _

…or did he? Near couldn't be sure. Mello had always been a puzzle he couldn't quite solve. Strawberry blonde hair, black leather and ever changing moods. He was like the opposite of cold logical and blank-faced Near.

Yet they still understood each other in some way. Mello made choices Near never could have done, but Near understood the reasons behind those options, even when the blonde didn't himself.

But when it came to understanding Mello's actions towards Near…..

He had said that he hated Near. He had said it so many times, yelled and screamed it in his face, like it had mattered. Mello was jealous, Mello was angry. He had mocked Near with every possible name, had destroyed almost every toy Near liked.

Near didn't hate Mello. How could Near hate him? He was…. interesting. And, to be honest, it was hard to find people who'd be at the same intelligence-level with him. Mello was only one who Near could talk equal. L had been above him, and the other kids, well….

The strange thing was, that no matter how much Mello claimed to hate Near, he still always seemed to help him more than interfere.

Without Mello, Kira would be still out there.

Near wavered a bit. The plaything he had been lifting, had slipped from his slim fingers.

He had no chance to pick it up, when Gevanni entered from front door.

"You have a mail"

A mail? Near never had mail. Only two people who could have mailed him were dead. If Roger wanted to contact him, he would've just called.

Then from whom was it?

"Who's the sender?" Near asked as he slowly stood up.

Gevanni frowned at the letter.

"It doesn't say. It has just your name in it."

Then the man reached out the letter.

Near took it and curiously turned it over.

He froze.

He heard his heart inside his ear canal as it started throbbing hard against his chest.

On the ivory white envelope, two words were written with black ink:

_Dear Near_

…. with Mello's sharp handwriting.

"Near, you ok? You got really pale…." Gevanni catched his shoulder in tight grip.

Near hardly noticed. He felt like everything around him had blurred into a meaningless mist. With shaking hands he threw the letter open.

There it was. The picture.

Mello, young, happy Mello, with his bowl-haircut and cheerful smile. And behind the letter, with Near's calligraphy, _"dear Mello"_ .

Seconds passed. Near just stared at the picture, feeling the emptiness inside him becoming overwhelming.

He heard remotely Gevanni's worried questions, and when he didn't answer, his cries for help.

Now there was Halle and Rester too.

But Near couldn't answer them. All he could see, all he could think, was in front of him. The picture of happy Mello. Dear Mello.

"Near! Near, answer, please!"

"He's so white…."

"Near, you better start talking or we'll take you to the health center!"

"NEAR!"

"He knew" Near's voice was quiet.

They fell silent around him. Halle frowned.

"Who knew?"

Near inhaled weakly.

And he broke down at their feet.

His knees failed and he felt his legs slamming the floor before anyone could react.

Six hands were about to touch him, pick him up and help, but then they noticed. Silent tears were streaming down Nears face.

Near thought he had no feelings. That the emptiness inside him was ordinary part of his mentality, that he could not be touched with something so _human _as sentiments.

But when he saw the picture, his walls cracked up, breaking his heart into million pieces. He felt so much at the same time, he almost went mad.

The silent turned into noisy weeping, and then screaming. His face was wet, his eyes were crimson. He didn't try to cover his face.

No one even tried to help. They just watched quietly as the boy in front of them turned into a sobbing mess, shouting in pain for his friends.

And it hurt _so _much.

"YOU ASSHOLE! YOU KNEW, YOU KNEW IT, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Near couldn't bear it. It felt like his soul had been ripped in parts, and then sewed together just to crush it again and again.

_Dear Mello._

"HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU DO IT? YOU JUST WENT AND GOT YOURSELF KILLED, YOU IDIOT!"

He had known it. He knew he had to sacrifice himself in offer to get Kira caught.

"YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU?"

He did it for Near.

Near would had died without him. He saved Near, saved everyone.

The thought made Near sick to his stomach, screaming so loud that he almost lost his voice.

"YOU- YOU- I CAN'T EVEN-"

He trembled thoroughly. White hair stuck on his wet cheeks. Tears were preventing him from seeing anything, and it was good, because If Near had seen Mello's picture again….

"I HATE YOU!"

Mello had always been the only one to make him feel anything. Near cursed him in his mind. How, _how _could he leave him? They were like two sides of the same coin. It felt like something in Near had died with Mello.

"…how could you leave me? How could you do this to me?"

The pain was too much. Near passed out, crying out Mello's name

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* * *

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Near woke up in his own bed. The room was dark and silent. He heard quiet mumbling from the other room, but didn't really care if they talked about him or not.

Mello's picture was on the table next to the bed.

Near caught it in his hand. He didn't even try to stop the tears, when they started to stream again down his cheeks.

Mello had died for him. He had posted the letter just before he died. Only picture left of Mello. Reminder, that once they were young and innocent, once there were no Kira and they were just two smart kids at Wammy's house, trying their best to be ….well, the best.

And when he read the two words again, something told him he could heal.

_dear Near_

He didn't need any other words. Maybe others would have needed long message to get it, but they didn't. Just two words.


End file.
